“hows life?”

i ask myself the same, with a brief pause.

“im here.”

is the only status i can provide.

someone asks me. “hows life?”

“good, yours?”

routine, bullshit, and an infective lie just to sound pleasant with the others.

is it so i dont have to discuss why? or is it just a habitual lie?

im tired. im alone… im just addressing a question. feel free to answer it for me.

How do you mention your feelings
your hope
desire
and never ending need for _________

I HATE that I cant be beside ___.
I would drop everything for ___.

Im strangling myself
in desire for this ___.

you’re nothing more.

fuck + you = ____

i must stick with this now. cause i dont want to pay for my site anymore. good lord.

ah. atleast this is much better than myspace’s “blog” system.

if only she knew
i would give anything
to be that one

can i tell her,
she would never cry
but only for happiness
if i was that one?

she will refuse
she will regret
and never care
how i want her to
and how i would for her

i break a silence
with a loud sigh,

i let it all out
she listens
doesnt say a thing
untill i finish

i finished,
i hear the dial tone…

ive fallen down,
this stairwell,
once before
every step,
a body part hits,
it doesnt hurt,
the 2nd time,
makes this the third

and yet i still
swell up,
i still whipe a tear,
i still brush off,
the dirt
and yet,
i start the journey

the journey,
up that same,
thousand mile,
stairwell
that still,
has the dried,
sweat, blood, and tears

from the first journey
up, down, and conclusion.